Dog Quotes
This page is for dogs in general, you don't have to be a hunter to enjoy their beauty and grace, or to be amazed by their intelligence. Enjoy some memories with us as you reminisce about your own.
These are some quotes and dog humor we have come across and enjoyed. While they are humorous they are full of truth. We read them occasionally to keep us in check with the reality of being a dog lover. Maybe they'll give you a chuckle or send you into deep thought as they do us each time we read them. If you have read or seen anymore please pass them along to us, so that they may be included.
-Mark Twain >
-We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam
-A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley
-Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler
-Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein
-If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
-Unknown
-You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry
-Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras
-If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret
-My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.
-Unknown
-There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams
-A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
IF DOGS WERE OUR TEACHERS, WE WOULD LEARN IMPORTANT STUFF LIKE:
-When loved ones come home, always run to greet them like they've been gone for a year.
-Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride in the car.
-Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
-When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
-Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
-Take naps.
-Stretch before rising.
-Run, romp, and play daily.
-Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
-Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
-On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
-On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
-When you're happy, dance around and wiggle your entire body.
-No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.
-Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
-Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
-Be loyal but never pretend to be something you're not.
-If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
-When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
And finally, ---
-Never trust anyone until you sniff their ass.
Inner Strength
-If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
-If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
-If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
-If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
-If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
-If you can overlook when people take things out on you when,
through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
-If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
-If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
-If you can conquer tension without medical help,
-If you can relax without liquor,
-If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
-If you can do all these things,
-Then you are probably the family dog.
Dog's Letters to God
Dear God: How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God: Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
Dear God: If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpet thing, again?
Dear God: May I have my testicles back?
